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Title: Rowan & Martin’s “Laugh-In Christmas”

   Roy Summers

 

TIME: xxx

 

PREVIEW: 

xxx

 

DESCRIPTION: 

xxx

 

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What is over 120 years old and is now being changed this week for the 4th time in its history?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

ANSWER:

How riders pay to ride the New York subway.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

When the NY subway opened in 1904, paper tickets were used and cost just a nickel, or about $1.82 in today’s dollars. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The brass-colored token coins were introduced in 1953 that were purchased from station booths. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

In 1994,  the MetroCard was introduced to replace the New York City subway token.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Now, more than three decades later, the gold-hued fare card and its notoriously finicky magnetic strip are following the token into retirement. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The last day to buy or refill a MetroCard is Dec. 31, 2025, as the transit system fully transitions to OMNY - One Metro New York, a contactless payment system that allows riders to tap their credit card, phone or other smart device to pay fares, much like they do for other everyday purchases. 

 

 

An existing MetroCard will allowed for most of 2026 until the card’s actual dollar value is depleted. The card can not be renewed or extra monetary value added to it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Riders will now need to use smartphone or contactless credit card to pay for a subway ride.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Riders will have to buy a physical OMNY (One Metro New York) card if you don’t have a smartphone or credit card.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A young boy had just gotten his driver's license and inquired of his father if they could discuss his use of the car.

 

 

 

 

 

His father said he'd make a deal with his son.

 

 

 

 

 

 

"You bring your grades up from a C to a B average, study your Bible a little, get your hair cut and we'll talk about the car."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The boy thought about that for a moment, decided he'd settle for the offer and they agreed on it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

After about six weeks his father said, "Son, I've been real proud. You brought your grades up and I've observed that you have been studying your Bible.

 

 

 

 

 

 

But I'm real disappointed you haven't gotten your hair cut."

 

 

 

 

 

The young man paused a moment then said:

 

 

 

 

 

You know, Dad, I've been thinking about that.

 

 

 

 

I've noticed in my studies of the Bible that:

 

 

 

 

Samson had long hair,

 

 

 

John the Baptist had long hair,

 

 

 

Moses had long hair and …

 

 

 

There's even a strong argument that Jesus had long hair.

 

 

 

To this his father replied:

 

Did you also notice something else?

 

 

 

 

 

The son asked: What was that?

 

 

 

The father responded:

 

They all walked everywhere they went?"

 

 

 

 

—————————

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

MY LIFE - EXPLAINED….                

 

 

 

 

 

On the first day, God created the dog and said: “Sit by the door, guard the house, and bark at anyone who passes by. For this faithful service, you’ll live twenty years.”

 

 

  The dog tilted his head and said, “Twenty years of barking? That’s a bit much. How about ten, and I’ll give the other ten back?” God smiled and agreed.      

 

 

    On the second day, God created the monkey and said: “Entertain people with tricks, make them laugh, and bring them joy. For that, you’ll live twenty years.”  

 

 

 

 

The monkey scratched his head and replied, “Twenty years of monkey tricks? That’s exhausting. How about ten, and I’ll give you back the other ten?” Again, God agreed.    

 

 

 

      On the third day, God created the cow and said: “You’ll work with the farmer all day, bear the heat of the sun, give milk, and raise calves to support the family. For this, I’ll give you sixty years.”  

 

 

 

 

The cow let out a long moo and said, “Sixty years of hard labor? That’s too heavy. I’ll take twenty and give you back forty.” And God said it was good.    

 

 

 

 

      On the fourth day, God created humans and said: “Eat, sleep, play, marry, and enjoy your life. For this, you’ll have twenty years.”  

 

 

 

 

 

But the human protested: “Only twenty? That’s not enough.

 

 

 

 

Tell you what—give me my twenty, plus the forty the cow gave back, the ten the monkey gave back, and the ten the dog gave back. That makes eighty. Deal?”   God chuckled and said, “Deal. But don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

    And that’s how it all turned out:    

 

 

  For the first 20 years, we eat, sleep, play, and enjoy ourselves.    

 

 

 

  For the next 40, we work like cows to support our families.    

 

 

 

 

  Then for 10 years, we act like monkeys, entertaining the grandkids.  

 

 

 

 

 

  And finally, for the last 10 years, we sit on the porch, bark at everyone, and complain about the mailman.  

 

 

 

 

  Life explained.

 

 

 

You’re welcome.

 

 

 

 

  Now, if you need me, I’ll be on the porch….

 

 

 

 

….. barking at the mailman….