Tuesday, March 17, 2026
| Guys Movies - Mission Impossible 3 | |
| Location: | Villas Clubhouse |
| Time: | 7pm to 9pm |
| Description: | An action movie will be played as a Guys Night Out.
The title of the movie will be announced a few days in advance.
For more information, contact Bob Turnage.
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Title: Mission Impossible 3 (2006)
TIME: 2 hr 5 min
PREVIEW:
DESCRIPTION:
Retired from active duty to train new IMF agents, Ethan Hunt is called back into action to confront sadistic arms dealer Owen Davian. Hunt must try to protect his girlfriend while working with his new team to complete the mission.
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WHAT TO WEAR FOR AN IRS AUDIT
A man, called to testify at the IRS, asked his accountant for advice on what to wear.
"Wear your shabbiest clothing. Let him think you are a pauper."
Then he asked his lawyer the same question but got the opposite advice.
"Do not let them intimidate you. Wear your most elegant suit and tie."
Confused, the man went to his priest, told him of the conflicting advice, and requested some resolution of the dilemma.
"Let me tell you a story," replied the priest.
"A woman, about to be married, asked her mother what to wear on her wedding night.
'Wear a heavy, long, flannel nightgown that goes right up to your neck.’
But when she asked her best friend, she got conflicting advice.
'Wear your most sexy negligee, with a V-neck right down to your navel.’
The man protested:
"What does all this have to do with my problem with the IRS?”
"No matter what you wear, you are going to get screwed,"
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Golf & The Genie
A husband and wife were enjoying a round of golf at one of those ultra-exclusive courses where the grass looks painted and the houses surrounding it cost more than small islands. As they walked up to the third tee, the husband glanced nervously at the row of enormous, glass-covered mansions lining the fairway. “Easy on your drive, sweetheart,” he warned. “If you break one of those windows, we’ll be paying it off for the rest of our lives.” She gave him a confident smile. “I’ve got this.” She swung. The ball rocketed off the club… curved dramatically… and flew straight through the largest home’s massive front window with a crash that echoed across the course. They both froze. The husband slowly lowered his head. “I knew it. Come on. Let’s go apologize before they send us the bill.” They walked up the long marble driveway and rang the doorbell. A well-dressed man opened the door almost immediately. “Can I help you?” he asked calmly. “We’re so sorry,” the husband said quickly. “My wife’s ball broke your window.” The man’s face lit up. “You broke the window?” “Yes,” the wife admitted. Instead of getting angry, the man stepped aside and gestured for them to enter. “Please, come in.” Inside, the entryway was covered in shattered glass. Near the doorway, an old, dusty bottle lay on its side. The man clasped his hands together excitedly. “You have no idea what you’ve done for me,” he said. “I am a genie. I’ve been trapped inside that bottle for a thousand years. When your golf ball shattered it, you set me free.” The couple stared. “I will grant each of you one wish,” he continued grandly. “And then I shall take one final wish for myself.” The husband didn’t need time to think. “I want a million dollars a year for the rest of my life.” “Granted,” the genie said with a snap of his fingers. He turned to the wife. “And your wish?” She beamed. “I want a beautiful house in every country in the world.” “Done,” the genie replied smoothly. Then he smiled thoughtfully. “Now, for my wish.” And the genie looked at the wife with lust in his eyes, after being trapped in the bottle for so long. The husband looked at his wife. She looked back at him. They both shrugged. “Well,” the husband said, “we’re set for life. Seems fair.” The genie nodded and politely asked the wife to follow him upstairs. Two hours later, he came back down, adjusting his jacket and looking quite pleased with himself. He turned to the wife with a curious smile. “Remind me,” he asked casually, “how old is your husband?” “Thirty-five,” she answered. The genie chuckled and shook his head in amazement. “Why? What is it?” asked the wife. “Thirty-five… and he still believes in genies?” ============ |